Document belonging to the Greek Mythology Link, a website created by Carlos Parada, author of Genealogical Guide to Greek Mythology



Science Really





Are you scientific minded and analytical?
Scientific products will be soon available. Really!
 
If you are scientific minded,
Get products for science enthusiasts.
Buy Scientific Hospital products.
Buy Scientific Fitness Products.
Buy scientific toys.
Buy Scientific Posters.
Buy Scientific Vinyl.
These products will keep you looking fresh. Really!
Will make you money right from the start.
Some older versions of these products will not work.
 
The purpose of science is simply to know or to be aware.
Aware of the Benefits of Folic Acid.
Aware of monkeys.
Aware of evil.
 
Science is Cool.
Cool Science is Hot.
Hot Like A Cheetah.
Hot Like a Melting Pot.
Like spicy salami.
Like a nuclear reactor.
To know science is to love it.
Love any kind of science.
Science without barriers.
Science Without Bounds.
Without Frontiers.
Without Walls.
Without Laws.
Without Moral Limits.
Without Sense.
 
WHAT IS SCIENCE?
 
Science is first and foremost a set of logical and empirical methods.
Methods for Young Adults.
Methods for Merging Administrative Lists.
Methods for Health Services Management.
Methods for Gaining Insight into Ourselves.
Probabilistic Methods.
Euthanasia Methods.
 
Science is a religion.
A new religion without Israel.
A new religion without being ready.
Science is a complicated subject.
A subject which never fails to fascinate.
A Subject which Makes God Weep Bitterly.
 
Science Is My Savior.
It saves me from a lot of hassle.
From the dangerous sun.
From having to download and install the driver myself.
It saves me from driving for hours.
 
Science is fun because you can do almost anything with it.
Anything that is disturbing.
Anything that makes people nervous.
You Can Handle Them All.
You can disturb their balance.
You can disturb their sleep.
 
Science Is Big, and Getting Bigger.
Bigger Than Games.
Bigger than Pluto.
Bigger than the biggest gun.
Bigger Than Life.
 
Science is actually much more complex.
Complex, But Not Complicated.
Not complicated, but unsure.
Put most simply, science is a way of dealing with the world around us. Really!
A way of dealing with stress.
Of dealing with cigarette addiction.
Of dealing with our sins.
Of Dealing with all aspects of International Trade.
Of Dealing while in possession of undisclosed price-sensitive information.
 
Science is an institution and tradition.
A tradition of service and dedication.
A tradition of sponsorship.
A Tradition of Tragedy.
 
Science is Against Evolution.
Against the evolution of the medieval townsman.
Against the Evolution of Safety Management.
Against the evolution of the human brain.
 
Science is Simple.
Simple to set up, easy to use and great value.
Simple as a momentary power outage.
Simple as a list of medical diagnoses.
Simple for high-tech minds.
Simple but eloquent.
Eloquent but Blind.
 
Science is what it is.
It is a full-time job.
It is a full-blown mess.
 
Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living.
If one does not have to continually open and close applications.
If one does not have to validate one's words.
If one does not have to deal with issues of women.
If one does not have to support them.
If one does not have to send one's children off.
If one does not have to be held responsible.
 
Science is unfair.
Unfair, but funny.
Unfair, But Who Cares?
 
Science is behind us.
Behind us when we go to work.
Behind us while we rid the world of all evils.
Behind us, every time we invite the new neighbours over for dinner.
 
Science is crucial.
Crucial and Surprising.
Surprising for a poopyhead.
 
Science is neutral.
To be neutral is to be fair to the contending parties.
To be neutral is to be on the side of the criminal.
 
Science is about external reality.
Reality Is Not Optional.
Reality can be scary.
Reality can be cruel.
Reality is not always probable, or likely.
 
Science is remarkable.
Remarkable despite the human cost.
Remarkable except for orthostatic hypotension.
Remarkable except for three details.
 
Science is accomplished by gathering evidence from the real world.
And The Real World is just the place to do it. Really!
 
Science is quantitative.
Quantitative and Discrete.
Discrete and Impulsive.
Impulsive and opportunistic.
Opportunistic and at times deadly.
 
Science is all about knowledge.
Knowledge is about change.
Change Is About Designing the World.
The world is about to face energy crisis.
 
DEPARTMENTS OF SCIENCE
 
Cognitive science is the interdisciplinary study of mind.
Interdisciplinary because we're looking at many dimensions.
Many dimensions because there are infinitely many slices.
Many slices which are assumed to be of equal size.
A size that does not comply with the size limit.
A limit that defies logic.
A logic that has no room for values.
 
Creation Science is Garbage.
Garbage despite its useful features.
Features which you can try without obligation or cost for 180 days.
 
Computer Science is Not Science.
Computer Science is the excitement of solving a puzzle problem.
Unfortunately it is a bit boring. It is a problem. A genuine scam.
 
Marine science is a popular field.
Popular among immigrants.
Among older people.
Among Infertile Women.
Try this way and you are out of business.
 
Event-Based Science is a new way to teach science at the middle school level.
Try this new way to find someone Curvy and easy-going.
 
Modern science is definitely fragmented.
Fragmented but essentially intact.
Fragmented, but across this fragmentation everyone is busy working on their projects.
Try fragmenting proteins yourself.
 
Basic science is the way to reach deep space.
Try this way to unload the unnecessary daemons.
 
Voodoo Science is definitely about homeopathy.
Homeopathy is definitely our magic bullet.
Voodoo science is a skill that every citizen should develop.
Try this way to make our friend keep calm.
 
Spanish science is in need of drastic and urgent reform.
Drastic and Ill-Advised.
Try the drastic step of a full reformat of your hard drive.
 
Earth science is a powerful tool because it offers experience.
Experience from amputation.
Experience From the Clinic to the Courtroom.
Try amputating your arms and legs.
 
Sound science is a conservation mantra.
Mantras are tools of power.
Power is a little bit like the air you breathe.
Try breathing like mad for a five minutes.
 
Environmental science is largely an interdisciplinary applied science.
Applied because it will penetrate the wood much better.
Try penetrating yourself.
 
Teen Science Is Serious Business.
Teens are more wired than ever.
Wiring is Good for Business.
Wiring has developed into a highly sophisticated science.
Try wiring your opponent.
 
Political science should place more emphasis on methodology.
Should place more emphasis on building security controls.
More Emphasis on Criminal Tax Investigations.
On personal needs when making bonus decisions.
More emphasis on outcomes.
On market mechanisms.
More emphasis on the new testament.
Try emphasizing your gestures.
Try emphasizing your similarities with your audience.
 
WHAT SCIENCE IS NOT
 
Science is not technology.
Technology is Not Just Fun.
 
Science is not a process which can solve all kinds of problems.
Problems like depression.
Like Acne, Eczema, and Psoriasis.
Problems Like Microsoft.
 
Science is not infallible.
Infallibility is private.
 
Science is not with humans.
Humans Are Dangerous.
 
Science is not Omniscience.
Not being omniscient is OK.
 
Science is not ready for experiments in human cloning.
Human cloning is too costly.
 
Science is not a Courtroom.
A courtroom is too small.
 
Science is not a miracle-worker.
Miracle workers are not likely to study.
 
Science is not objective.
Objectivity is the privilege of German university professors.
 
Science is not independent.
Independence is the privilege of a mature mind.
 
Science is not just about bacteria.
Bacteria are not nice, not even to each other. Really.
 
Science is Not War.
War Is the Best Medicine.
 
Science is not simply a neutral method of acquiring knowledge.
Not simply a database of unconnected factoids.
Not simply a matter of honesty.
Science is not simply an economic issue.
Science is not simply the search for truth.
Not simply charity.
Not simply to take advantage of particular technologies.
Not simply a matter of ethics.
 
WHAT SCIENCE CAN DO
 
Science can do practically everything.
Everything except the punch line for this joke.
 
Science can tell you about flirting and how to do it.
It tells you how to pronounce every single word.
It tells you how to say stuff.
 
Science can analyse a pork-chop.
Science can entertain researchers.
Entertain with vodka-drenched feasts.
Science can train better athletes.
Better athletes with a reckless disregard for academic standards.
Science can give us a human perspective.
Give us information.
Give us an idea.
Give us a few hours' warning
 
WHAT SCIENCE COULD
 
Science could learn.
Science could learn to speak.
Science could learn to stop.
 
Science could provide us with utterly convincing snapshots of reality. Really.
Science Could Transform Our Lives.
The lives of all those who were killed today.
Killed by scientific expeditions.
 
Science could kill life.
Could strike again.
Could strike a major blow.
Science could be subversive.
 
Science could turn you against ice-cream.
Turn you against loved ones.
Against your true leaders.
Aagainst jews.
Against women.
Against The Media.
Against the Jedi Knights.
Against capital punishment.
 
Science could contaminate science.
Could contaminate NATO.
Could Contaminate Drinking Water.
Could contaminate Mars.
Could contaminate your hands.
 
Science could help me.
Could help me to get a license.
To get a job.
Get a good discount.
Get a lot of stuff.
Get a prescription.
 
Science could make news.
Make news of congenital birth defects.
Make news of its own.
 
Science could be dismal.
Dismal and humiliating.
Humiliating and degrading.
Degrading and Sexist.
Sexist, but accurate.
Accurate But Misleading.
Misleading, but Not Meaningless.
Meaningless But Nonetheless Fascinating.
Fascinating or frightening.
Frightening, but true.
True if the money was found.
 
WHAT SCIENCE SHOULD
 
Science should be exciting.
Should Be Edible.
 
Science should hold no fears.
Fears of proselytizing.
Fears of Looming Ape Extinction.
Of Impending Catastrophe.
 
Science should be wooing women.
Wooing Women Investors.
 
Science should be knowledgeable.
Knowledgeable and insightful.
Insightful and available.
Available except for students.
 
Science Should Know.
Should know how to operate a digital camera.
Should know before starting a doctorate.
 
Science should strive for simplicity and unification.
Science should send a strong signal.
Science should insist that only what is demonstrable exists.
 
WHAT SCIENCE WILL
 
Science will solve all problems.
All problems related to hormonal imbalance.
Related to Kidney as well.
Related to Russian gas projects.
To cell phones.
To old age.
All problems related to the monks.
To landmines.
To a neglected aquarium.
To telecommunications and networking services.
To disarmament and non-proliferation.
To computer usage.
To child health.
All problems related to our common good.
To user authentication.
To information sharing.
To population growth.
Problems Related to Severe Obesity.
To the Use of Cosmetic.
To Diet.
Problems with Statistics.
With logging out.
With Heaven.
Problems With Holiday Purchases.
 
Science will acquire skills.
Skills that will make you most marketable.
Skills that will drive you to success.
Skills which cause physical damage
 
Science will lead to an explosion of new knowledge.
An explosion of new gadgets.
An Explosion of New Software.
An explosion of new bugs.
An explosion of new life-forms.
An Explosion Of Human Emotion.
An explosion of Satanists, Nazis, and hate groups.
 
Science will end racism in our time.
Peace In Our Time.
Food in Our Time.
Science will end most disease.
Will end up looking different.
Will end by anthropophagy.

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