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FORVM`s Classical Numismatics Discussion Board  |  Numismatic and History Discussions  |  Uncleaned Ancient Coin Discussion (Moderator: bruce61813)  |  Topic: Tips for Domestic Bliss 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Author Topic: Tips for Domestic Bliss  (Read 4458 times)
Mark Farrell
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« on: June 16, 2005, 05:33:00 pm »

I thought I'd record a few lessons learned from the past months cleaning coins. The fact is, we may be almost as unwelcome at home when we are cleaning our little treasures as we are in the broader numismatic realm. Perhaps some can learn from my mistakes.

Feel free to post your own tips. Here's some of mine.

1. If you use your daughter's electric toothbrush to experiment with gentle dirt removal in order to protect a desert patina, be sure to rinse said toothbrush well before putting it back into the charger.

2. Never, ever use one of those special, decorative Christmas dish towels to clean the black residue left after electrolysis from a coin, even if it is the last towel in the drawer.

3. Be wary with nearly empty bottles of olive oil. If you use the last of the bottle from the kitchen and someone was counting on using it in a recipe for dinner, you may be making an unplanned trip to the grocery store or, worse still, taking the entire family out to dinner in penance for your thoughtlessness.

4. Do not assume that because an AC adaptor is currently unused it is actually available for use to experiment with lower voltages in electrolysis. Otherwise, you may experience a pre-teen child running to his/her other parent with a now worthless charger to his Gameboy, angrily presenting the severed wires to said parent, said child proclaiming, "look what Dad did?"

5. Measuring cups are not appropriate containers for Gringott's soaks. Yes, they are graduated so it makes it easy to measure the appropriate quantity of distilled water. Yes, they are heavy glass (good for strong lye solutions, by the way, oops!, ignore that). But when it comes time to measure rice for dinner, their absence becomes somewhat obvious.

6. Buy your own measuring spoons for measuring any chemicals you use and do not let them be confused with those used for more mundane tasks in the kitchen. Otherwise, you may hear a discussion in the other room, after you carefully measured out Gringotts #2 for soaking some new coins, "Mommy, I licked the sugar off the spoon and it's burning my lips."

7. Do not try to explain that your apparent thoughtlessness in alledged mis-use of domestic goods was actually a result of a passionate desire to recover and preserve our ancient past. You are likely to get a retort such as, "so who made you Roman?"

8. When returning from the grocery store to a home full of hungry people, be sure to have more in your grocery bags than domestic cleansers you are eager to try out on a fresh batch of uncleaned coins from Croatia.

Enough for now. I'm sure I'm getting close the limit for a post, so happy cleaning!

Mark
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ecoli
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« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2005, 06:22:26 pm »

#9 be very worried if your wife ask you to label every coin with a price

#10 be even more worried if your wife start to dress like this after viewing the price list...
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« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2005, 08:51:22 pm »

11. Look at the maximum power output of the socket you're using. Plugging too many things into it can result in unpleasantness involving sparks.

Evan
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« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2005, 09:25:09 pm »

12. Do not refer to your girlfriend in coin terms. While "MS wit highly artistic reverse and superb portrait style" might be complimentary, "cracked flan", "slight corosion" and "traces of bronze disease" are not. At least make sure she is out of ear shot.

13. If girlfriend/spouse etc says "It's me or the coins" buy her vast amounts of her favourite chocolate in the hope she forgets. Do NOT laugh uproariously and tell her "It's been fun" lest you suffer grievous bodily harm.

Yes, I speak from experience here.
                                                LordBest. Cool
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Mark Farrell
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« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2005, 11:16:46 pm »

Excellent suggestions everyone -- Kevin, watch out for that red head! Here's a few more:

14. Do not react in anger when your spouse says you are going up to "play" with your coins. There is nothing you can say that will change her mind. With maturity and a balanced mind set, this jab is tolerable. It is simply her way of pointing out that she -- not hunks of dirty bronze -- should be your most fervent passion.

15. Do not try to justify a purchase of a coin with jugate busts of a Mesopotamian king and queen that you bought the coin because of how important your marriage is to you. This only works if you make this claim before the purchase. Delivering said justification when the purchase is discovered on a credit card in a subsequent month is painfully transparent.

16. When the question, "so just how many coins do you have now" arises, don't panic -- it is a fair question. Prepare yourself in advance. When the question is delivered, pause thoughtfully, estimate your total coins, and tell her 2/3rds of that number. She will know you are lying. Expect a raised eyebrow. Then disarm her by saying, "that's a lot of coins, thanks for being so supportive of my hobby!" This may or may not work. If not, offer to cook dinner and do the dishes.

17. Do use first names for the dealers you purchase coins from. Say, "look at the new coin I got from Joe (or Kevin or Doug...)." This will make the dealers more human in their eyes, which is vastly preferable to her believing that said dealers are demonic forces with the sole aim of putting childrens' education funds at risk. If possible, share some humorous anecdote regarding the dealers whenever possible.

18. If she begins a full-court press regarding you spending too much time or too much money on coins, become the perfect, over-attentive spouse. Let your coins soak in oil for an extra week. Don't touch a single one of them. Do whatever she wants to do with gusto. When she asks if you are going to clean some, say, "later, I just want to spend time with you." Carry this to an extreme. Within a week she'll want her space back and will urge you to work on the coins again. This ploy takes a delicate approach and should not be attempted with women under the age of thirty or if you have been married for less than eight years.

19. Use the names of female friends on FORVM with great care. She's heard of those Internet relationship things and cannot help but doubt your assertion that a two hour, on-line discussion regarding which depiction of Victory has the most beautiful wings is completely appropriate.

Though I come at this from a uniquely male perspective, similar suggestions exist for those women out there who are uncleaned addicts. Wishing everyone domestic bliss and R5s in your next batch.

Mark
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Ghengis Jon
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« Reply #5 on: June 17, 2005, 05:19:32 am »

20.  When forced to choose between ancient coins and food, remember that you better results by asking for forgiveness than permission.
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ecoli
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« Reply #6 on: June 17, 2005, 10:53:12 am »


13. If girlfriend/spouse etc says "It's me or the coins" buy her vast amounts of her favourite chocolate in the hope she forgets. Do NOT laugh uproariously and tell her "It's been fun" lest you suffer grievous bodily harm.

Aside from bodily harm, if you do this at the spouse stage, you'll find your spouse will end up with half of everything you own - including your coins.
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jbaran
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« Reply #7 on: June 17, 2005, 06:10:36 pm »

Aside from bodily harm, if you do this at the spouse stage, you'll find your spouse will end up with half of everything you own - including your coins.


No, she wont want your coins...so that will count as your half and she will end up with everything else Tongue
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Mark Farrell
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« Reply #8 on: June 18, 2005, 06:44:56 am »

Joseph,

I read your response to my wife (who is also an attorney), and she smiled serenely and said, "whether she takes your coins depends upon how much she wants you to suffer."

OUCH!!! They are a mean-tempered 51% of our species.
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jbaran
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« Reply #9 on: June 18, 2005, 07:07:36 am »

The best all around idea, is to hide.  Keep all your coins and supplies away from the other family members.  Rent a PO box to hide delieries and a Paypal account for purchases.  Keep everything off the books.  If needed, sell one of the children on the sly...hopefully one thats rebelling and keeps odd hours anyway and wont be missed any time soon.

Gunner had the right idea with his clock tower, and it seems to have resulted in wedded bliss Smiley
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Paul Oatman
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« Reply #10 on: June 18, 2005, 01:24:32 pm »

21.  Never leave olive oil and coin filled soaking dishes too low to the ground.  If they are ingested by a domestic quadrapedal defence unit issues may arise.  Although as a collector I realize that there are acceptable casualty levels in a worthy cause,... others may not.

Yes, the dog is fine.  Thank you God.  I was anticipating some serious reparations.

And the one you're all wondering about  no... it is not a viable cleaning system.  Although I did have my hopes up for a couple of days.

Recommendation: Do not try this at home.

 Grin
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Congius
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« Reply #11 on: June 18, 2005, 01:58:47 pm »

Quote from: divo constantio pio on June 18, 2005, 01:24:32 pm
And the one you're all wondering about  no... it is not a viable cleaning system.  Although I did have my hopes up for a couple of days.

But I gather you did "recover" the coins after their beastly passage?!

Ben
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Paul Oatman
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« Reply #12 on: June 18, 2005, 07:36:54 pm »

When you love coins.  You love coins.   Cry  It was only a couple of AE4s that I had segregated out by themselves because they looked "interesting".  Many thanks to great Zeus that the family went with a Shi Tzu and not a German Shepherd.

Guys.  No matter how much you might want to laugh and point out reasonable things like... "she'll know not to do that next time." or have the urge to quote your high school football coach sayings like "it'll just shake it off" or "take a salt tablet it'll be fine"...

don't...

especially if the small dog has achieved a status in the family pack of receiving its own miniature pancakes in the morning "so she won't feel left out"

just accept your fate and go immediately to the vet. even though you know it is a terrible wast of perfectly useful roman coining money.

Its at times like these that you truly realize that family members may not really understand just how vitally important Roman coins are!!!!!

The way that dog can take down miniature pancakes its a good thing that these were Ae4s and not a sestertius....

The next time you read an ebay sellers pitch about how Gladiators or even Senators may have held these coins... well... it probably went something more like this.

900 AD Baghdad.  One of the Caliphs scholars stares at his beautiful Roman coin.  Even though he feels kinda bad over the graven image on it.... when his wife bursts in....

yes honey... I'm sorry about the towel..... 1100 years later.... maybe a Shi Tzu.  The journey through time continues!
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slokind
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« Reply #13 on: June 18, 2005, 10:34:50 pm »

You guys can't imagine how entertaining this thread is to a single woman who is also a compulsive coin collector.  It does fit in with my never having been nearer marriage than an engagement...   But, you see, a married, or partnered, female just says, well, I earn my own discretionary cash.  Coins, if her spouse, or partner, is well fixed to indulge her, are cheaper than designer handbags and hats or hiring interior decorators.  But you all have finally convinced me: the alpha and omega of feminism is economic independence (all else is rhetoric).  Pat Lawrence
(Of course, it is different when there are children)
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Paul Oatman
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« Reply #14 on: June 18, 2005, 11:58:55 pm »

True.  But you know that somewhere out there is some red blooded guy that has no interest whatsoever in coins.  Mysteriously he keeps finding a/c adapters to drills missing or mutilated with clips attched and wonders where all his shop towels keep going.

"honey... where's my shop towels...you know... the good ones?"

 Smiley
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ecoli
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« Reply #15 on: June 19, 2005, 12:31:36 am »

But you all have finally convinced me: the alpha and omega of feminism is economic independence (all else is rhetoric).  Pat Lawrence

A tad bit too cynical for me  Grin

Feminism or no, a talented woman can always have total control of the economy of her man.
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starwars_phan
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« Reply #16 on: October 14, 2005, 09:46:24 am »

Another tip to remember is: do not sit at the kitchen table scrubbing oil covered coins until the early hours of the morning and then sneak off to bed exhausted UNLESS you clean up all those little oily black spots of crud, and tidy up all your associated paraphenalia first. You know that you wife will be awake before you, and will happily drag you out of bed to point out why your kids can't have their breakfast.

Another tip: don't try to speed up the oil soak process by floating a plastic container containing oil & coins in a saucepan of simmering water. Sure it warms the oil just fine, but when you start scrubbing your other coins and forget they are there, it is very hard to explain why your wifes favourite tupperware is now melted to the bottom of her favourite saucepan (man you should hear the noise it makes when the container melts and the hot oil mixes with the last of the water).
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HoloWolf
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« Reply #17 on: October 14, 2005, 04:07:27 pm »

Quote
3. Be wary with nearly empty bottles of olive oil. If you use the last of the bottle from the kitchen and someone was counting on using it in a recipe for dinner, you may be making an unplanned trip to the grocery store or, worse still, taking the entire family out to dinner in penance for your thoughtlessness.
Simple solution - buy your own bottle of olive oil and never EVER let it get anywhere near the kitchen.
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gjb6774
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« Reply #18 on: October 16, 2005, 04:55:47 pm »

Very similar to divo constantio pio above, don't leave the RENWAX in the reach of the pooches! Seems to be very appealing to them...sorta like ChapStick....and seem ton-toxic too! Embarrassed
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« Reply #19 on: June 19, 2013, 04:20:36 pm »

so sorry if i am breaking protocol but i think this one of the most informative compilation of "war stories" out there. Grin
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« Reply #20 on: June 20, 2013, 09:19:30 am »

Better yet, leave the olive oil for the salad and use distilled water - and nobody will drink it, either.

Also:

- Do not use the new cookware set you gave your wife for Christmas to boil and soak your coins. (Or be proactive and get her that new cookware set before you incur her wrath - and when she asks you how much you spent on the last coin order, you can always say, "But honey, I just bought you that new Rachel Ray cook set!" This should work for 3 or 4 coin orders before the excuse gets worn out.)

- Find a way to include her in your collecting. I always include a "Jesus" Byzantine or Widow's Mite or cross in the order and say, "Look what I got for you, dear!"

Tony
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« Reply #21 on: June 25, 2013, 06:10:21 am »

Always. always, always clean the sink after cleaning coins.  Most effective after you've put away the coins and your  implements of destruction.

"What are you doing, honey?"
"I'm cleaning the sink."
"Why?"
"I know how much you care about how the kitchen looks and I just wanted to help you out.  I appreciate how much effort you put in around the house and I just wanted to help.  Have I told you how much I love you dear?"

As opposed to:

"You know you left the place an absolute pig sty in here last night.  But I'm not going to complain, I went shopping to make myself feel appreciated.  That Otho dime you left in the sink worked just fine in the parking meter today.  And by the way, I saved over $500 on those 30% off sales at the mall, dear."

"Aaaarrrgggghhhh!!!!"
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« Reply #22 on: June 25, 2013, 08:35:52 am »

21. Do not dry coins in the oven around dinner time.

Doing so will result in one of two moments of anguish:
a. The misunderstanding that you were actually fixing dinner for us instead of spending another night dealing with those coins and ultimately leading to you having to prepare dinner and serve it late due to the coins are still cooking.
b. The misunderstanding that you are preheating the oven for dinner and have set the temperature much too low, which results in rather dark coins and screaming after your spouse attempts to help you in your cooking by raising the temperature to 350F.
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« Reply #23 on: June 28, 2013, 08:33:51 pm »

Some more tips for domestic bliss: do not get ''ancient dirt'' on the couch while cleaning, do not use favorite china/mugs for soaking coins in dw or oil, and do not leave cleaning gear at any house you are housesitting at.
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